TIGblogs TIG | TIGblogs GROUP TIGBLOGS LOGIN SIGNUP
Katea's Blog
Katea's Blog
Breast Cancer: When your cell turns against you.
Translations available in: English (original) | French | Spanish | Italian | German | Portuguese | Swedish | Russian | Dutch | Arabic

Recently, my mom underwent mastectomy (a surgical term for removing one or both breasts for cancer). It was a shock to me when I found out about it. All along, I thought it was just plain lump in her breast. After all, the biopsy said it was benign. Her surgeon, who is the leading surgeon of our country, told her she had nothing to worry. Thing is, we have a history in our family. Two of my mom's sisters already had breast cancer, her youngest sister for 10 years and elder sister for 7 years. Both underwent mastectomy and are still living quite normally until today. So it was this reason why her doctors had to remove her left breast, just to make sure it would not spread.

During her operation, my sister began to panic and started to cry. She said, how come the operation took so long when the doctors said it would only take 4 hours. I didn't know what was happening in the operating room. I wasn't aware of mastectomy as part of the option. But I didn't want to cry. I didn't not want to panic. I had to remain still. I already prayed and I kept my faith all the time. My sister asked, what if something went wrong, how could she live without our mom? I dismissed that thought. Mom would be alright. Whatever happened there, I knew she'd survive it.

If it was hard for me and my sister to wait, it must be harder for our dad, who at the time was in Europe, working thousands of miles away as an engineer. Could he sleep well? Was he focused on his work? What was he thinking, same as my sister or me? Dad used to sweat the small stuff. I wondered how he was taking it. Mom and dad are so close and connected to each other, they feel each other when something is wrong with the other.

When hospital staff brought my mom in her room, I felt relieved. She just turned her head to me and my sister and then closed her eyes. She was still groggy. My sister began crying again and my aunt called me outside, she said she had something to say. This was the time she disclosed to me about mastectomy. A surge of fear and pain overtook me. I felt something was clutching my neck and I couldn't breathe. I was just quiet, nodded to my Aunt, and found myself walking endlessly round the hospital until I realized there was a place for me to go. I climbed the stairs to the 4th floor and knelt down in the chapel. I was face to face with the Blessed Virgin Mary, the loving mother who the world has come to know. Her face was still and her eyes were expressive, her arms were open, perhaps ready to catch me if ever I fell down. I began to cry. I remember praying or asking her, "Tell me, it's gonna be alright. You love me right? You love my mom and my family? Please, please send me your love." For one hour I was just talking to her. But the whole chapel fell silent and the only thing I could hear was my mind, the beat of my heart and the constant soft sobbing. After awhile, I found my feet again. I was ready to see my mom and my sister. They didn't need to see me crying.

On my way back, I began texting my friends both global and local. I asked them to send me and my mom their love, prayers and healing positive energies. After a few minutes, my phone was filled with love and prayers from my friends. I saved them and thought of reading them one by one to my mom. That night, I didn't sleep. I was just beside her, holding her hands, sending positive energies. I said my prayers for her in all religious traditions I could think of: Tibetan, Buddhist, Hindu, Christian, Jewish, Islam, Pagan or just anything that I learned from the heart. I called the Gods and Goddesses who I loved. I told them to help heal my mom quickly and to keep her safe and positive.

It only took my mom two days to put a smile on her face, even if her surgery was very painful. She said, "it's just a breast, I still have my life." On the third day, she woke up early, took a shower, put on her make-up and perfume and changed her hospital gown to a regular pair of pyjamas (easier for nursing staff to check her wounds); she was ready to receive visitors. My family and friends came flocking and although her eyes get teary once in awhile, it was easy for her to put her smile back. She said, at the operating room, she was singing "jingle bells" until anesthesia put her to sleep. I read to her all the messages my friends sent her and she was grateful.

Looking back, I remember that a few months ago, I read Umberto Eco's Foucault's Pendulum, when Jacopo, one of the editors and main charcters, gets cancer. He talks about metastasis and how your cells turn against you. He says:

"And what are cells? For months, like devout rabbis, we uttered different combinations of the letters of the Book. GCC, CGC, GCG, CGG. What our lips said, our cells learned. What did my cells do? They invented a different Plan, and now they are proceeding on their own, creating a history, a unique, private history. My cells have learned that you can blaspheme by ana-grammatizing the Book, and all the books of
the world. And they have learned to do this now with my body. They invert, transpose, alternate, transform themselves into cells unheard of, new cells without meaning, or with meaning contrary to the right meaning. There must be a right meaning and a wrong meaning; otherwise you die. My cells joke, without faith, blindly." (Eco, 514)

My mom is fast recovering and her doctors are surprised and happy that she's healing faster than average women who have cancer, considering that mom is also diabetic and hypertensive. Mom can say to her cell which Jacopo thought it was only the cells who could do the talking, "...(M)ethistemi? It’s the same thing: I move, I transform, I transpose, I switch cliches, I take leave of my senses." (514) Yes, my mom's cells turned against her that's why she's left with one breast and her physical body altered. But when this happened to her, everything around her went on her side--love, love is on her side and that's everything she could ask for.

January 5, 2009 | 11:04 PM Comments  0 comments

You must be logged in to add tags.


hekatea's Profile

hekatea's Friends


Latest Posts
Engaging Youth Reform:...
Ljubljana Poster...
Experimenting with Haiku
Breast Cancer: When...
Child/Youth...

Monthly Archive
December 2006
January 2007
February 2007
March 2007
April 2007
May 2007
June 2007
July 2007
August 2007
September 2007
October 2007
November 2007
January 2008
February 2008
March 2008
April 2008
May 2008
July 2008
August 2008
January 2009
February 2009
March 2009
April 2009
May 2009

Change Language


Tags Archive
animation anime australia books chiangmai climatechange competition contest environment gender greenpeace haiku internationalconference justice leadership outback philanthropy poetry politics production reading scams selfdiscovery seminar training travel women writing youth

Filter By Type
Events
News
Travel
Topics

Friends
-franz-
-SB- Shobuz Bhai
A Better Community for All (ABC4All)
A.B. PobuwoloTowaye
Aare Kornar !
ABen-Shema
ABHIPRAYA
Adam Kaufman
Adel
Adrielle Saldanha
african prince
Ai
Ajit
AK
alfred ibulu jr
alima
Alive Arts Media / / Alive Magazine
Amaka for Kids
Amanda Kefalas
amani007
Andrew
Angie
Anita Yip
ankag
ansh
Arundhaty Parida
Askia
Awais Aftab
AWellEarth.net
azaleaicornmill
Ben Holland
Benoit Couture
bertchranis
BERYL
Bettina Rudolf
bigpun007
Bishnu
bk
Blake Jacobi
BOLA OLANREWAJU
bundesliga
Caitlin
Cam
Camolot
Carlo
Carolyn
Carrie
Charles
Charles Candelario
Chase
Cherrie
cherry
ChieuNghi Truong
Chris
Chris Wells
Chris Williams
Christine
ckvishwanath
clarita zarate
Dan Tshin
danielle
Danish Khan (webmaster@mdanishkhan.tk)
Dave Matthews
Dhiviya
dia el deen abd el fattah
Dilip Kr. Saha
Donna Roy
dudu
Elijah C. Briggs
Eric
Eva Huijbregts
Evelyn
Evelyn
Farah Rahimtula
FEMI DUROJAYE
florabale
George C. Owens
Global Fund
Gloria
Greta
Hansha Sanjyal
Harikrishnan.G
Harry Bobor Stevens
Haylz
Helen
Henry Ekwuruke
idreeskhan
ISNAYP Media
J R
James
Jamil Ahmad Malik
jean celeste paredes
jeanne castellanos
Jewel-
Jonah Wittkamper
Jörg
jOrOss
Joyce Christine
JUSTICE FOR ALL
Karen Lee Gross
Karin Chisholm
Kat Birch
Katie Broad
Katja
khalid khan jogezai
KIMM
Kyna Mori C. Flores
Larin
LauraK
LorenzoHarewood
Luís Manuel Pin
Lula M
lutherking
lutherking
Malcolm Lawrence
Marc Ludwig
MARCKENSON
Mariane Vadeboncoeur
Marie
Marina Different
Mark
Mary
mary ann c
maryjn
Mateusz Palys
Medaer Frans
MEDJEEN
Michael Furdyk
michelle
michelle
Miguel Silva
Miles Robert (Rob) Aronson
mohamed elkashash
Muddasir Ali Issani
Naglaa
Naomi den Besten
Natalie Steiner
nielu natha
Nina
nockia
Noelle Anne Rodriguez
norhana
Nuijten
Ogunro Temitope
Ossama ALASS
Owulezi
Ozerova Irina
Padam Raj
Peace2Peace
Pham Thanh Nhon
phearless
Phyo Win Latt
princes chona regencia
R Kahendi
rahul bhowmik
Rajesh
Ranjan K Baruah
Ranya
Rebecca Lohman
ROSANIE
Rotaract Club of Manila Metro
S.Senthilpushpa
S.Senthilpushpa
sahr yillia
Saindique
Sandy Mae
Sara Hamilton
Sarah
Sarah Boyd
Schrodinger
Sebastain
Selene Biffi
Semakula Saidi
Shahnawaz شاهنواز
Shireen
sleemfesh
soccer-girl110
SSandifer
Sudip Aryal
Sunny
surendar
Swapnil
sweden45
Tamoy
Tanya
Teresa Allan
Terri Willard
TOPH
Tracey
tree
Uli Heinrich
Uranusz
VICTORY ASHAMOLE C
Vivek
vixie
W.Thomas Black
WeAreTeachers
wilfried fink
Will
Yama Enayat
Yashoda
Youth Develop Nepal
Yuming Ma
Zach
Zainul Abedin
ZAM
zand
Zeljka Banicek
Zovya
~Caroline~

Links
ABC4All
Arts and Letters Daily
Association for Progressive...
Association for Women's...
Atikha
CocoNatur
Council of Europe
eldis
Feminist
Friends of Seven Lakes Kids
idealist
International Women's...
Nabuur
Native Planet
Youth Action Network
Youth for Change
Youth for Exchange and...


68000 views
Important Disclaimer